Reflecting On A Year of Firsts:

What we learned, what we didn’t expect, and (most importantly) what we keep at our desks to survive as first-year PhD students.

Aspen Hopkins
6 min readSep 16, 2019

At MIT, there’s an age-old adage about drinking from a fire-hose. That fire-hose is school, and research, and generally transitioning to a new home, all of which we choose to do because the institute has called our name.

In hopes of easing future students’ transitions — to slow the flow, you know? — I surveyed a few of my nearest and dearest of peers and will now share our cumulative takeaways with you.

the firehose. because same :0

GENERAL LIFE THINGS

“… the main thing I learned is that nothing is ever as big a deal as I think it is.”

This is a pretty big one: you have four to forever years in your PhD. That’s a small blip in your life, and “big” things that happen — even when they’re painful — are not going to matter in the long run. Communication challenges with your advisor, difficulties in class, TA’s questioning your intellect, none of that is going to mean as much next month, let alone three years.

Incremental steps, on the other hand, mean far more than you think. These are the habit-forming, daily-structure events that you know you want to do, but never quite manage to maintain. Exercise regularly, actually eat normally, and create a daily routine that works (pick work up at x time, put it down at y).

I often consider those that appear to be working the longest hours as heroic beasts that I must emulate to reach peak success. The reality is that sometimes you do need to work long hours to accomplish your goals, but that shouldn’t always be the case; the truly prolific individuals I’ve met are simply effective with their time.

…feeling stupid means that you’re learning… and that asking questions shouldn’t be intimidating.

Easily said, hard to internalize. Do it anyway. You can answer plenty of things on your own, but it’s often better to ask than to spin your wheels. If someone makes you feel small about asking a question, then they either 1) don’t understand it, or 2) aren’t worth asking the question of. Find someone else and don’t take it personally. The community you find through asking those questions will be far more impactful on your research and quality of life than you realize.

MAKING A QUALITY LIFE

Find people you like. Attend social events and get to know people, and consider doing that outside of your department. This seems obvious, but a lot of students fall into their desk trap: they never leave. The literal first step in finding your people is putting the tech down and engaging with the humans around you. People in computer science sometimes struggle with this because isolation often feels productive, but it isn’t and trying to emulate some arcane ideal of an effective researcher will just make you unhappy.

Therapy is normal. Many students need help to manage the stress of the PhD program, probably many more than you realize. There’s nothing shameful about taking an hour to talk to someone you trust. More importantly, there is nothing shameful about taking care of your mental well-being. Just like physical strength, emotional strength takes time and energy to build. Schools often provide free short-term therapy, then reduced rate visits for longer-term needs beyond that.

CHOOSING YOUR ADVISOR

What do you need from a mentor? And how do you ensure potential advisors meet those needs? I personally knew that I needed open communication, conscious and conscientious engagement, and knowledge in the domain of my interest. What I didn’t realize is that I need someone who believed in me, and was hands-on in my development.

Any advisor is going to be busy. But some will have 1) fewer students (this can be good or bad, depending on the advisor), 2) be early in their career, which might imply they’ll be very invested, 3) as a person, care a whole awful lot. I suggest doing some digging before selecting your advisor. Asking their current or previous students questions about expectations and behavior is very important. Here’s a list of things to keep in mind/ask before jumping into your new relationship:

  1. What hours do they work/are responsive? Some advisors will state they don’t expect crazy weekend work hours, then ask you to come in on a Saturday or never actually leave their office.
  2. What is their communication style? This seems obvious, but what you want to hear is that they don’t yell, they DO take their time with you, and that they won’t be judgmental/annoyed when it’s clear that you’re learning. Some advisors like slide decks, some like to sit and chat for hours on end. There’s a lot of variability, which we’ll get into in the next session.
  3. Do they encourage or allow summer internships? This question is a good proxy for, “are they okay with you having outside interests/a life”, as a normal person will respond with “absolutely, live your life” even if they’ll turn around and say you have to work through Christmas.

4. Have you had/heard of any negative interactions with them? It’s okay to be blunt. And you need to take the responses to this question with a grain of salt, because sometimes people don’t mix well. Advisors are human, and as with all human interaction, sometimes we just don’t get each other. How that conflict is resolved says just as much about a person as the initial cause for the conflict.

5. What’s happened in regards to funding? Some advisors are rolling in dough, others have not a penny. Will you scramble for a grant, fellowship, or TA-ship, or are you going to be secure for the full PhD? Financial stability is important.

TALKING ABOUT COURSE WORK

Don’t take classes in the same area that you are doing research. You already know a lot about the topics, so the course work will be far less interesting than new topics. *This is not true if you feel there are holes in your knowledge. Fill that knowledge gap fo sho.

WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT EXPECT

I miss good engineering practice SO MUCH. Wasn’t expecting to. But it feels like night and day.

when reading research code

This is specific to computer science, but in case you did not know: research code is yucky. I’m part of the problem, I’ll admit freely to it. Beyond having a structure in how you implement things, being intentional in commenting and creating nice documentation goes so so far in helping others down the line. Don’t be that person who makes life difficult. If you’re worried, just over comment. There’s nothing wrong with too much information.

WHAT’S ON YOUR DESK?

Things to keep at your desk: A pen, a notebook, a computer, and a positive attitude! The last part is very important especially when things aren’t going your way.

I personally keep a pair of gym shoes, snacks, toothbrush + toothpaste + deodorant + lotion + hair ties, pens, notes +postcards from friends, and a happy light (because winter in Boston can be as bad as everyone says) where I work, and there are plenty of plants as well.

FINALLY:

It is important to remain productive even if you are experiencing failure. This will pay dividends in the long run and greatly reduce the length of time when you are struggling to make progress.

The first year is a lot of introspection: what do you actually want to work on, and what are you uniquely able to contribute to the community for research? What work will keep you intrinsically motivated? You don’t have to answer these questions immediately, or even in the first couple years.

More important than having a clear direction is recognizing that your motivations and interests are going to evolve with you, and to lean into what excites you now. That passion will be recognized by others, and will most certainly get you places.

Lastly, in the pursuit of your niche, it’s common to experience severe lows. Your confidence will have a lot of hits. While some of that is necessary for growing, a lot of it can be avoided by having a stable foundation of friends, family, and activities to keep your definition of self separate from the PhD. Remember you’re a multi-faceted human capable of many things, and the work you do in your PhD is only part of that.

Good luck! :)

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Aspen Hopkins

Hi! I’m a PhD student at MIT. I’m interested in AI, HCI, data visualization, and how tech impacts human experiences. Find me @ AspenHopkins.com